How to Manipulate Someone

Learn to control others

The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum…
~Noam Chomsky

Learning how to manipulate someone is a valuable skill if only to prevent being manipulated yourself. It’s a strange world out there and people are increasingly only seeking to get what they want from you. Your only hope is to get good at manipulating people.

Even the most stoic of characters have some sort of weak link that you can exploit to gain control over them. It is important to always pay attention to what people say and do when they are around you.

We always strive to point you towards “further reading” about each topic and interestingly, so far, one of the best programs we’ve found is the How to be an Expert Persuader system. The awesome thing about this information is that not only does it give the fundamentals on how to manipulate people in relationships, you also come out of it with some pretty unstoppable business and sales skills.

Check for “Leakage”

Leakage is all those little ticks and slips that people make to betray their real emotions. For some people, leakage is all they do. This kind of person wears their heart on their sleeve and is relatively easy to control. Then there are those that never seem to let anyone in. This is a tougher nut to crack.

Leakage comes in many forms and is the key thing that poker players look for in their opponents. Yes, we’re also talking about “poker tells” here. It could be as small as a slight smile or a sniffle when someone is uncomfortable or as big and a facial twitch when a person if flustered.

Once you’ve observed someone enough and have spotted some of their tells, now you have enough ammunition to exploit their weaknesses.

Controlling emotions

Controlling emotions is what how to manipulate someone is all about. Basically, you have to create an extreme emotion in someone in order to truly have control over them. There are essentially two directions you can take this in:

Fear. People will do anything you want them to if you instill enough fear of the repercussions. Most people spend their whole lives running away from fear and discomfort. The jobs they get stuck in and the mate they tolerate are all because they are afraid of doing something new. Something unknown.

These people are easy to spot because they really are never entirely happy. They get uncomfortable in new and unknown situations. They tend to be the “maybe we shouldn’t” kind of people. Manipulating these people is quite easily once you’ve figured out what they hold dear.

Things like their harm of their children, the wrath of their spouses, loss of something important (like a job or house), damage to their property, permanent and ongoing guilt or anguish; these are all great motivators to get the fear-driven subject to do your bidding. Insurance salesmen LOVE these people!

Desire. On the other hand, there are the people who want something. Not just things either. We all have unfulfilled desires and goals that we’re working towards (however feebly). When you find a desire-driven person, all you need to do is paint a pretty picture.

Try things like bright futures for their children, a better/hotter mate, promotions, access to fortune and fame, a feeling of accomplishment and pride are all great ways how to manipulate these people. Car salesmen and lottery commissioners LOVE these people!

Decisions made on a whim

People are horrible at sticking to their decisions. My friend is the “Consumer Reports” kind of guy. When buying a new car recently, he read all the safety and mechanical reports for the kind of car he wanted and narrowed it down to a handful. He then went and drove them all… repeatedly. In the end, he ended up with a BMW Z4. A freakin’ 2-seater convertible sports car! He was looking at Subarus

This was the complete opposite of what he needed. He needed something to put all his stuff in and was looking at station wagons. So what happened? There just so happened to be a BMW dealer across the street from the Subaru dealer. Feeling a little bit overwhelmed by narrowing down his decision, he decided to have a little fun. This pragmatic gentleman (who actually created an Excel spreadsheet of the cars he was looking at) was ripe for the picking when he walked in to test drive.

That car is distilled sex, though…

Using sex as a motivator

We all wish we could have more freaky sex with hotter people and this is the ultimate way how to manipulate someone. Let’s get back to the car:

What does a sports car represent to a guy approaching his 40’s? Hot-ass supermodels hanging out the top flashing their boobs that innocent bystanders. Insane thinking, I know, but that is what the advertising has said to us from day one and by all accounts, this is one stereotype that has survived all other marketing schemes.

Make no mistake, the promise of sex to most guys is reason enough to destroy happy marriages, burn bridges, blow up school buses, and kill sacred cows. This is the ultimate weak spot for many men. Let’s not just attack men though. How many women have said aloud, “If Brad Pitt were here right now…?”

But there is a difference here: men are most manipulated by beauty, women are most manipulated by power. Girls aren’t going to sleep with any guy to destroy their lives, but if he is famous or powerful, the decision gets a little more consideration.

Find out the most important decision

When controlling emotions, you main goal is to find out what that one major decision is. Does this person not want to buy your product because they can’t afford it or is it something way less tangible?

This is where you get into some serious psychology. Maybe your victim can’t make the decision because their mother told them only maniacs drive sports cars. People will often mention their biggest fears in a joking manner, “My mom would disown me if I bought this. Ha ha ha…” This is not something you should laugh off too. You need to address it in a way that crushes this fear, “Don’t you think your mom would be proud of how successful you are?”

Sometimes it’s as easy as turning their logic back on them. “I’m not going to sleep with you tonight!” can be best answered with, “Are you kidding? You know where I live. You’re not some crazy stalker are you? I cannot manage another stalker.” What? You just completely misdirected the whole point of that statement. You played back their logic and took it to the absurd. Now their wondering how many stalkers you have and why you have so many stalkers. Meanwhile, you’re rubbing hot oil all over them.

How to manipulate people: the final step

After you have poked and prodded and found your subject’s weaknesses, it’s time to put them into action. This is as easy as replacing their old thought process with your shiny new one. You can’t completely demoralize someone with tales of suffering friends and family and the end of the world without giving them a direction to go towards when you are finished.

This is as simple as putting the final bait on the hook, “…and therefore, you should come home with me and help me alphabetize my CD collection.” You know and she knows that there will be no alphabetization going on other than enunciating a lot of vowel sounds, but you have to make things easy for the mind you are controlling to be OK with your suggestions.

As always and with all the topics on this psywar website, the second best concept to have a firm grasp on is subtlety. What is the first best concept? An unlimited supply of unstoppable confidence!